Growing up I’ve always felt a little weird. A little off. I had something that was different about me that others could certainly see, which at times certainly made me subjected to being othered. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I began learning how to love these different and unique parts of myself, and to love the odd little child that I used to be.
Art making for me has regularly been one of the best ways to cope with my mental health, disability and trauma. I do absolutely describe it as a meditative arts practice because I can feel my brain become silent as my muscle memory takes over when I’m on a pottery wheel, when I paint, when I draw. There are very few things that make me feel this way and bring me this sort of relief.
That being said, my mental disabilities do often end up getting in my way. My mind is one of the things that can cause the most detriment to being able to perform my own self-care and it feels like a constant climb when I’m trying to get to the next thing. I ultimately often feel like I am my own worst enemy. There is so very much that I am deep in the process of unlearning while I continue to learn about how my own thought processes work, my own obstacles, the tools I need to be more successful. What things should I stop doing that are enabling worse symptoms of my disability? What things do I need to start being gentler about with my disability? How do I stay accountable to myself to make it easier to cope?
My arts practice is a physical way for my conclusions and epiphanies to live out in the real world. Often intense, with elements of the macabre, I am sharing the pieces of my mind that carry my grief, my shame and my trauma. A lot of these emotions for me not only feel raw, but it can also quite literally feel like I am putting my guts on display when I start expressing the intensity of them. It feels so vulnerable to share these parts with people, yet I yearn for connection and understanding in my life.
Oliver is a 26 year old artist working from the Antler River region (London). He identifies as queer, trans, neurodivergent and disabled. Ceramics is one of their main passions for art making, but enjoys dabbling in textile work, printmaking and developed a foundation of other fine art skills that he often revisits.
An angel life figure reclines on their side, wounded and bleeding from an arrow. There is a tear on their cheek, and they only have one wing. There is a bow laying near their feet, and a satchel of arrows just out of reach from their hands. No perpetrator can be seen which begs the questions: Who shot the arrow? Was it perhaps self inflicted?
A sculpture of a crow eats the guts of a small, pink songbird. The guts are made from yarn, and connect to a woven piece on a wall behind, framing the both like a backdrop. The woven wall piece mimics innards and entrails and is made from yarns and scrap fabrics.
You can find Oliver on Instagram at @terra.corvid
Website coming soon
3 Responses
Very nice article Oliver. You have come a long way and continue to grow.
Great to read! Nice work!
I hope you know how much you’re loved by this misfit cafe mom. <3