The following happened roughly ten years ago. I was rather solidly in the middle of an era of disassociating from my disability, and must say that I had a few GIANT beers to take the edge off of the situation. So often as a person with disability I have been told to just be thankful for what little or compromised experiences I had been “given,” or in this case paid handsomely for. For me, I had been in this situation countless times, and the few times I had made an effort to push back and advocate for change, nothing happened. Guards report to supervisors, supervisors to managers, and sooner or later you end up missing an entire concert or experience. I generally try to avoid Bud Gardens (formerly the JLC) and London Music Hall/Rum Runners these days because of the number of barriers they have historically put in the way of folks with disability. Until the day comes when accessibility is no longer treated as an afterthought, these kinds of situations will continue to happen. I am reminded of a quote from the late great Judy Heumann: I’m very tired of being thankful for accessible toilets. If I have to be thankful for an accessible bathroom, when am I ever gonna be equal in the community?
I have left my friend’s name off of this piece because he is no longer running around picking fights with folks at concerts. Though, I really don’t blame him for getting worked up. As this was an eye opening experience for him being that it was the first time he witnessed systemic ableism at work.
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July 16, 2013: Tonight I went to see Pearl Jam at Budweiser Gardens in London, Ontario. I’d been looking forward to it for a long time and was lucky to get tickets. It sold out so quickly and if you weren’t one of the lucky few and you still wanted to get in, well, you’d have to pay the ridiculous prices the after market was demanding. I had been unfortunate (as a long time fan club member), not to get fan club tickets for the show, so my good friend, Adam Kearney, stepped up and said “Hey Jeff, I want to see Pearl Jam too and I know you are big fan, so come with me”. What you need to know about Adam, is that he has Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI). It is a congenital bone disorder and is more commonly known as brittle bone disease. As a result, Adam uses a wheelchair to get around. Ultimately this makes it so Adam has access to Wheelchair Reserved seating at events.
I felt a bit bad as I’m not a wheelchair user myself but Adam insisted it was cool. Just because he uses a wheelchair doesn’t mean he can’t have friends that aren’t in wheelchairs come along. When he put it that way, it made a lot of sense. I decided, OK, I’m not taking anything away from anyone, but I thought when I got to the show, I would stand back and make sure everyone that needs to be there has a good view and I’m not in their way. It’s going to be a good time. I was excited.
And then I got to Budweiser Gardens.
The night began with Adam and I going to scope out our seats. They were in a great spot. Nice corner of the lower bowl. Sweet. I looked around at the chairs to see where our seats, numbers 9 and 10 were and found that there were no seats with those numbers on them and what was to be found was a mishmash of numbers with no clear order. So, we asked a security guard if we could sit in the closest corner of the section to the stage. He said, “Sure! First come, first serve.” Great, we thought, great start to hopefully a great night. We joked and talked with the security guard about what we hoped the night would be like with the security guard when a second guard came over and asked to see our tickets. This is when the night really took a bit of turn for us. He pointed out that our tickets are 9 and 10 so we should be in the furthest seats. “Sure,” we thought, “Easy come, easy go.” and moved over. We asked if no one else comes, can we shift back over? The guard said sure.
So, we waited and watched two guys come in. One was using a cane and the other was probably his friend. Cool. I never thought about it before but it made sense, he has a disability that affects his mobility so it counts. Sure. No foul.
But then a lone guy comes into the area. No wheelchair, no cane, nothing that I can see. I think to myself, “Hey, are you profiling? You don’t know anything about him and maybe he’s just waiting for his friend who uses a wheelchair to come.” Well, he never came. Anyway, he came into the area, grabbed a chair, pulled it up beside Adam, asked for a fist bump and said a triumphant “Dudes”.
Adam turned to me and revealed that this happens a lot. Adam and I go to a lot of shows. Myself less since I started a family but Adam is still going strong. He told me stories of being at Bud Gardens and how all you need to do to pretty much guarantee getting into a show is buy a Wheelchair Reserved (WCR) ticket and no one does anything to enforce it. He had a few friends with disabilities that tried to get into the same show and were shut out when the WCR tickets sold out. So, right off, this bothered Adam as he realized that his friend didn’t get in, but this guy did. This didn’t help my feelings of trespassing, but Adam ensured me it was cool.
OK, if Adam is cool. I’m cool.
Soon after that the show was about to start and a man also using a wheelchair drove into the area with his guest. Ok, this is a little more like it.
The show started, Ed and the gang hit the stage. Seconds later a family comes into the WCR area. I’m thinking, “OK, I’ve seen this many times. Show begins, people are thinking security isn’t looking or is lax and try to make it to the front of rows or slip ahead into edges of the rows of seats. Security will stop this.”
They didn’t. The family was rocking out and now there is another couple in the area too. Now it’s got to the point that they are crowding out Adam and the other man in his wheelchair. I looked at security, thinking my eye contact would alert them to the situation and they’d remedy it posthaste. But nothing happened. I was worried I was overstepping my bounds and I didn’t want to make Adam feel any more awkward than he was with the situation so I silently slipped back and asked the security guard if they these people were supposed to be there. Remember when we first came in and the security guard checked our tickets? It was the same guy. He begrudgingly went over and checked tickets and walked away. I’m thinking, what the hell? So I called him over and ask him why these people were still there.
He said “Because they have WCR tickets.”
I said, “OK, but why do they have them?”
He replied “Because they bought them.”
To which I replied “I’m not trying to be a dick but do they look like they are supposed to be here?”
He stated “It’s not our policy to decide that. If they have tickets, they are supposed to be here.”
I asked for his manager. This was ridiculous.
His manager comes and explained the same thing, but if I had any concerns, I could contact their accessibility person at Budweiser Gardens tomorrow. She took my email address too and said she would see if they could contact me too.
The concert continues. Adam and I continue to watch but it’s hard to get into the night when people who are clearly not supposed to be in your reserved area are dancing and laughing in front of you.
The father of the family left to go to the washroom so I thought, “OK, maybe this is a bit stalker-ish but I’ll follow him and see if I can get down to what is going on.”
We got in line for the urinals and I said to him “Hey, awesome show, huh?”
I got a big “Fuck yeah” back.
“Sweet seats huh? How did you get yours?” I asked.
He happily replied, “I just called in and got them.”
I returned with: “So, it’s just you and the family. Nice. Is there a reason why you guys have wheelchair section seats? You guys have to use a wheelchair or anything?”
Yeah, it was darn forward of me. I was pretty much showing him my hand right off the bat. But he didn’t pick up it.
He confusingly said, “No, we’re perfect. Why do you ask that? That’s weird, man.”
I answered “Oh, sorry, it’s just you are in the wheelchair section. Why do you have tickets there?”
He returned with “It’s all a misunderstanding; they accidentally gave them to me. I didn’t know what I was ordering.”
I replied, “Well, true or not, if you know they are wheelchair seats, don’t you feel bad using them up?”
He tells me, “No man, it’s all good. We aren’t hurting anyone.”
I’m disgusted. “Whatever. You should be ashamed. This is pretty douchey of you.” And I go back to my seat.
I’ve been looking forward to this concert for months and I’m missing it because I’m playing some arena Columbo.
I get back in the show. The guy comes in soon after. He leaned in to talk to his wife and they turn towards me. I flip them off, making sure Adam doesn’t see. I don’t want to potentially embarrass him. Like I said earlier, it was awkward, and I didn’t want to make it any more uncomfortable.
Pearl Jam begins to play ‘Not For You’. To be honest, the irony was lost on me until I saw Adam posting his status to Facebook. He was typing: “Seeing non-disabled people sing along to “this is not for you” at a Pearl Jam concert in the wheelchair section is the definition of irony. #nottalkingaboutthepeoplewhodeservetobehere.”
Adam tells me he isn’t cool with this and would love to say something to these guys. So, at this point I realized that not saying anything isn’t making the show better. Just because we don’t acknowledge it doesn’t mean that we’ll feel any better. And if we don’t say something to these people, well, they think they got away with it. So, as the song ends I decide, ok, the family (or least the guy) knows I know he is douche. Let’s let this other couple in the area, know too.
So, I leaned over and get the guy’s attention. Note, he’s a big freaking guy. I know doing this could lead to me getting a fist in my face but this is important to me. If my night is getting ruined, then their night can be ruined too.
So, I say, “Wow, awesome song, huh?”
“Yeah!!” the guy says.
“And it’s not lost on you that it’s called ‘Not for You’ and you are in the Wheelchair area? Nice.” I punctuate this with a thumbs up.
They looked shocked. And I turn back to the show. Feeling a little pride but quickly also feeling some shame. Did I have to do that? I tell myself not to overthink it. They are ruining the show for others and if they are doing that and Bud Gardens is OK with it, then at the very least they should know it’s not cool and they can enjoy the show with that memory too.
Sure enough, soon after the guy goes alpha male on me, demanding, “How dare you speak to me like that! What gives you the right?”
I returned with, “What gives you the right to use up seats that aren’t for you? You should be ashamed.”
He stops and ponders and rebuttals “Well, I’m fat.”
I was ready for just about anything, but not that. But, my shock at his response is quickly shaken away and I say “Are you saying you should be in this section because you are fat?”
He smiled, “Exactly. I’m fat and that is my disability.”
“No” I say “You lazy and you have these tickets because you were lazy and found an unfair loophole.”
He didn’t know how to respond. So, we go back to watching the show.
The next song starts and he really gets in my face. He wants to fight.
He yells “Are you mocking being fat?”
This is the part of arguing that I find easy. Once the other person is enraged, it’s hard for them to expect anything but rage back. So I answer politely. “No, I have nothing against being fat. It can cause some serious health problems and is a major concern.”
Again, he looks perplexed. He says “Do you want me to punch your face in?”
“No. And I don’t want to get kicked out of the show. I don’t think you do either,” I explain, “So fighting probably isn’t a good idea. I’m just pointing out that it isn’t cool that you bought seats for this section”
To which he replied, “My tickets aren’t even for this section. You’re just being an asshole.”
At that point I exclaim, “Seriously!” and I’m thinking, sweet, I win!
I called the security guard over (who had been watching the whole exchange) and said “He says he doesn’t have seats for this section.”
The security guard asks to see his ticket.
Guy just starts making excuses and doesn’t show the ticket.
The security guard turns and shrugs to me. But, I’m not taking that. I turn on Dad mode. And say “Look at his tickets.”
The guard asks again and the guy starts yelling and getting hostile with the security guard. So the guard calls over the “muscle”. Two guards in black shirts come over and start restraining him. I’m thinking, there, maybe they can’t force people out of this section but this guy can get himself kicked out. I’m happy and turn away.
Another song ends and all of a sudden the guy and his wife are now walking on the floor in front of us. They are laughing and giving us the finger. They are led towards centre ice and moved into one of the team boxes. Now I’m perplexed! What happened?!? I walked over to the security guard (the same guy I’ve been talking to all night, right from the get go when he asked my friend in his wheelchair to see his ticket and moved us to the back of the area).
I asked him “What happened? Where are they taking them?”
The guard replied “The man said his wife is pregnant and so we need to move them to an area better for them.”
I feel like I’m in Bizarro world at this point. I actually completely understand the reasoning to put someone in a better area for a health condition. It’s the same as the wheelchair section. But, this is a man that was in the wrong area to begin with, was hostile and somehow blurted out a magic word and then he was “upgraded”. Not kicked out (not sure he was hostile enough for that) but not even sent back to the seats they had tickets for. And basically, I enabled this to happen.
As the night went on, the guy went back and forth between his new seat and the bar, steadily getting drunker and stumbling into rails, etc. There was even one humorous dash to the bathroom.
I again asked to talk to a superior. This time it was another manager. He was pretty nice and seemed to completely understand the situation. He wasn’t surprised but also said there is nothing they can do about people abusing this section as long as they have tickets. In not so many words I got the impression that I was about to get ejected from the show as I was causing too much trouble by asking too many questions. He asked to see my ticket. But soon after we seemed to reach a small agreement on the situation and he answered that it will really help if I contact Bud Gardens management. I hesitantly gave him my information as he said he would write up a report and they would also contact me.
At this point I resigned myself to realizing that this is my fault for trying to fight this and I should just accept this terrible reality.
I turned my attention back to the show.
The area kept getting more and more people filing in. But now the security guard, who I found so ineffectual for the first 3/4s of the evening, was continually coming in asking for tickets and asking people to leave. One group even started to manhandle him, so I found another security guard and they got him help. The troublemakers were removed from the area but not the concert. Even grabbing a security was not grounds for removal. It was craziness.
But, what I noticed was while this was going on, the other man in a wheelchair had basically been forced out of the area by the family. He came back soon after and I took this video below. I asked his permission first because the last thing I wanted to do was use him as a prop. He said it was fine.
The family danced and laughed in his spot while he and friend were relegated to the back of the area.
I was disgusted. At both the people there and at Bud Gardens itself. Both behaviours were unacceptable.
So even though I lost the spirit to say anything more, after the show was done and the family was walking by me I spoke up and again said “You should be ashamed, and you both are setting a terrible example for your child. I honestly hope he grows up to be better than the two of you.”
I didn’t want to say something like that in front of a kid that probably just wanted to see a band but I decided that this was important and I hoped at least he would think about this night and decide for himself if it was wrong.
Understandably the father was angered by this and said “Don’t you ever say anything bad about my boy.”
I said “I’m not. I’m actually assuming that he is a smart individual that can make his own decisions and hopefully in years to come, he doesn’t grow up to be a douchebag like you.”
He retorted, “Yeah, well, you’re douchey too.”
And that was our experience of Pearl Jam at Budweiser Gardens. You’ll note, I didn’t bring up much about the songs.
From what Adam says, this was a particularly bad experience but not out of the ordinary. He has experienced similar situations many times.
It’s opened my eyes, and I can’t stand this situation exists and that nothing has been done about it. This can’t be the first time someone has made a fuss.
If I was Budweiser Gardens, I would be embarrassed knowing this how they value their customers.
